Just don’t eat french fries while looking suspicious

Interesting news today about the policing of America’s (worst) subway system:

Metro police officers are using new behavioral profiling techniques as they patrol subway stations, identifying suspicious riders and pulling them aside for questioning.

The officers are targeting people who avoid eye contact, loiter or appear to be looking around transit stations more than other passengers, officials said. Anyone identified as suspicious will be stopped and questioned about what they are doing and where they are going.

That’s wonderful. I’m prime suspect number one when using those rules. Avoid eye contact? Not just on the Metro, but in life in general, so check that one. Loiter? Me and everyone else riding the Metro, though that may have more to do with the frequency of trains than with personal intentions, but still, check that one. Appear to be looking around transit stations more than other passengers? I’m a people-watcher, though if you look back at me, I’ll stop. Remember the “avoid eye contact” from earlier? People are fascinating in how boring they can be during their daily commute. So I watch. And the Metro police officers check that one, too, when they’re looking at me.

Do you think the police will let me blog from jail the juvenile detention center?