Low expectations are easy to satisfy

What the hell is wrong with America? Most days, checking the news on the internet is my first productive task. Usually it’s just a scan of headlines to make sure the world still exists. If there’s nothing major, I’ll come back to the news later to get more details. Yesterday, there the news that President Reagan had died.

I’m not going to pretend that I idolized President Reagan since anyone who has read my writing can infer that. But he was a United States President and deserves the respect that we attach to the highest office in the America. Even though he hadn’t been in good health for a decade, this is a Big Story&#153.

He presided over an extremely prosperous time. While I suspect that the prosperity was more from his optimism than his economics, it happened on his watch. (For what it’s worth, I believe the same “optimism trumps economics” applies to President Clinton.) President Reagan spent Soviet Communism into the history books. Blah, blah, blah.

This story, as well as the 60th anniversary of D-Day, deserves the primary attention for the day. Yet, what do I see when I click on the President Reagan story?

Click for a sign of the apocalypse.

I understand that it’s Entertainment Tonight, but using the word “entertainment” doesn’t offer a free pass. If the story is worth covering, the legitimate “weight” of the story should matter. The death of President Reagan has heft. The marriage of Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony is a useless trifle. At least President Reagan was more important than Mini-Me’s annulment.

Two miles of fun

My morning commute to the Metro is short. Out of the sub-division, turn right, turn right, turn right, turn left, turn left and I’m there. It takes approximately 7 minutes. 420 seconds. I thought that not much could happen in such a short time, but I learn something new every day.

To the driver of the SUV… I know your SUV proves that you don’t care about the price of a gallon of gasoline, but you don’t have to prove that you don’t care about time. Green lights mean “Go”. When I’m waiting behind your SUV in the future, please don’t sit at the light until it turns yellow and then decide to drive off. I don’t have your carefree attitude.

To the driver of the sports car… I know the light was only a green circle and not a green arrow, but “Yield” means to give way when there are cars zooming by in the other direction. No cars whizzing by is an indication that you can turn. Since I’m behind you in the same lane, I’m trying to turn as well. Please don’t impede my way because you’re afraid of cicadas buzzing by your window.

To the driver of the minivan… There is a speed limit in the parking garage and you’re nowhere near it. Please consider pushing harder on the gas pedal, it’ll help us all. As for your turn signal, have you ever seen a NASCAR driver use a turn signal during a race? I didn’t think so. Do you know why? Because they’re driving in a circle, just like we were this morning. The line of cars and the wall blocking left turns are solid indications that you’ll be turning right. I don’t need extra hints, but since you have a New York Mets license plate frame, I understand that you might.

Thank you.

The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.

Verizon is a dinosaur in need of extinction.

Back in February, I was peeved at Sprint PCS for a bad policy that cost me money, so I switched. Figuring the service would be good, I decided on Verizon. After three days, realizing that it wasn’t, I canceled my service and returned to Sprint. I had no idea what a challenge this would cause.

Shortly after I returned to Sprint, I received a “final” bill from Verizon. Besides the extra time I’d used beyond the rationed minutes I received, the bill included a $175 termination fee. I called Verizon to inform them that they needed to remove this because I’d had their service for three days, well under the 15 day limit to cancel. The representatives I spoke with agreed and said it would be removed. I agreed to pay the legitimate balance once I received a revised bill, adding a caveat that I wouldn’t pay late fees because this was their mistake. They agreed.

Thirty days later, I received my revised bill. Amusingly, the amount due was the exact same value from the first bill. Another call was necessary, so I wasted time to correct their mistake. Again. The supervisor informed me that the representative noted the incorrect termination fee but failed to initiate the request to remove it from my account. No big deal. The supervisor and I agreed that the deal from thirty days earlier would carry forward for another month.

In April, guess what happened. Another bill arrived, with the same mistake repeated. Again I called Verizon. The representative I spoke with, Angela, acknowledged that the previous request had gone through, but that it would take 1 or 2 billing cycles.

I told her I understood, but only after I confirmed that my previous agreement was noted in my account. She said yes, that I didn’t have to pay until I received my revised bill. Once again, I confirmed that no late fees would apply to my account. She said yes.

Sooooooooooo… This month, I didn’t receive a bill. I received a letter that Verizon disconnected my cellular service for nonpayment. I laughed and set the letter aside for a few days. Last night, I called to clear up the matter. Forty-five minutes later, I knew the truth about Verizon. Verizon hates its customers.

The $175 termination fee was gone, but two $5 late fees were added. The financial account representative explained that the late fees were added because Verizon hasn’t received payment from me. Duh. This started a vicious cycle, from which we never escaped.

I explained the last three months, which was useless because I gave the facts and spoke them intelligently. After much verbal sparring, the representative asked if he’d resolved my issue.

“Nope.”

We repeated this cycle several more times. In the course of this waste of time, he informed me that the representatives I’d spoken with over the previous two months indicated in the notes to my account that I was told that my bill would include late fees. This is a lie.

Allow me to repeat that: two representatives of Verizon blatantly lied on my account. I made the obvious argument that I couldn’t prove they were lying, until I came upon the wonderful strategy of tangling them in their inaccuracies. I commented that I had a piece of paper indicating that my account was terminated for nonpayment. That is an obvious fabrication, since I have Sprint bills confirming that I’ve had Sprint service with my number since February 11th. Verizon’s response: I should “disregard that notice”.

How convenient. When the data represents their position, ignoring the difference between data and facts, it counts. When it contradicts their position, I should disregard the information. Somehow I missed the lesson in business school that instructed me to abuse customers by patronizing them, lying on their accounts, and stealing their money whenever possible.

That explains why a customer is charged a $175 termination fee, regardless of how long they had service before canceling. Being a computer programmer, I know how simple it is to code software to prevent incorrect termination fees. The pseudo code would look something like this:

If (Termination Date – Activation Date) <= 15 Then
Termination Fee = 0
Else
Termination Fee = 175
End-if

That code would take approximately 4 nanoseconds to process each time an account is closed. But that didn’t happen. There are inevitably customers who don’t understand how the termination fee works and will pay it. They may mutter and curse the outrageous cost, but they’ll pay it. Verizon earns an easy $175. That’s the only explanation I can believe, given everything else I’ve learned about them from our conversations.

I now understand this to be Verizon’s reality. Searching the Verizon website, I was amused when I found this speech. From Bob Stott, New England Region President for Verizon had a few interesting customer service ideas:

For example, a customer service representative might find that by entering customer information into the company’s billing system in a certain way allows for a quicker transaction and more accurate information on the customer’s bill.

“A certain way”, indeed, Mr. Stott. But I don’t want that to overshadow this nugget:

We are dedicated to first call resolution. That means when one of our customers calls with an issue it becomes our issue and we aim to satisfy the customer in that same call.

Forty-five minutes into my 4th call to Verizon, I knew I wouldn’t get fair treatment, so I decided that I was done. Based on the termination for nonpayment letter and the honesty angle, I knew I’d won. The representative knew I’d won. That was enough for the call. Besides, I was hungry.

I’m going to pay the bill when it arrives, including the late fees. Even though I’m right, I’m not stupid enough to wreck my credit rating for this. However, Verizon will never receive another penny from me. I hope that’s worth $10.

The future’s so bright, I have to wear blinders

In interesting technology/business news today, Yahoo announced that it plans to increase to 100 megabytes the amount of free e-mail storage it offers to its consumers. This comes at a time of great strategic advances by Yahoo in the face of competition. From Yesterday’s meeting with Wall Street analysts:

And throughout the daylong meeting, set a self-assured Yahoo CEO Terry Semel tone by insisting the Sunnyvale, Calif.-based company feeds on competitive threats.

Without mentioning names, Semel made veiled references to longtime rivals Microsoft and AOL, as well as “one or two” upcoming companies.

After acknowledging that these companies have become major players in some Internet segments, Semel cautioned Yahoo’s foes.

“My advice is to beware,” Semel said. “All we want to do is win. It’s the only thing that excites us.”

Define winning. Is it offering extra e-mail storage? Is it having the most consumers? I know… perhaps it’s STEALING THE MOST MONEY FROM IT’S CONSUMERS! I’ve said “consumer” throughout this post because Yahoo does not treat people as customers. If it did, then it wouldn’t have stolen $14.85 from me. If it did, it would have returned more than $4.95 when I proved that it stole from me. If it did, its consumers wouldn’t have to call three times to have only one-third of the heist returned.

Focusing on the main point that Yahoo had to offer, this is the fact that should be highlighted:

The change, which will become effective this summer, is being made six weeks after Google unveiled an e-mail service that will offer each account 1,000 megabytes of free storage.

Now consider this statement:

“We will continue to lead and not follow,” said Dan Rosensweig, Yahoo’s chief operating officer. “We know where the Internet is going.”

I love that new definition of leading. Provide 10% of your competitor’s offer six weeks later and the industry will cower. “Bow before us, oh ye gods of competition, we are leaders! We are Yahoo!”

A sliver of my genius

I didn’t feel like writing about Blender’s 50 Worst Songs Ever when it first came out. Even though it is the “definitive” list, I didn’t care. It’s self-serving publicity for magazine editors earned by taking broad shots at obvious targets done only to allow them to brag about how much cooler they are than the rest of us simpletons. I have no use for that and don’t generally wish to give any credence to that ploy. Yet, with the arrival of this article from USAToday.com about the shelf-life of American Idol contestants, I must write about it to make that connection with evidence I found in the articles. Consider this:

The Idol stage, however, has a trapdoor. [Clay] Aiken, in the lead with 2.5 million albums sold, “probably won’t have a lasting and meaningful career,” [Blender editor Craig] Marks says. “Kelly has juice left, but none of them will be around much longer, and they don’t necessarily deserve to be.”

Even a brief observation of Blender magazine shows that they wouldn’t be receptive to the American Idol “formula”. What exactly is the point in having Mr. Marks comment on the projected length of Clay Aiken’s career? I can only assume that it’s to show me what the “cool kids” know. I apologize for missing that memo in “How to be kewl like everybody else 101”, but I think this is poor journalism. It’s equivalent to newspapers and magazines that have non-country music fans review country music.

A source should have an affinity for the topic, or at least an objective viewpoint. This way, the music can be judged within the context of its niche. I’m not promoting formulaic music, but there is no “right” or “wrong” genre. Like what you like and enjoy it.

However, when looking at talent, can we blame the talent scouts instead of the fans? Continuing on in the article, there is this nugget:

Kim Buie, a talent scout for the Lost Highway label, agrees that Idol’s fruits are perishable.

“There’s no greater platform in this country than TV,” she says. “Viewers get involved in these kids’ lives and see their strengths and weaknesses week to week. The exposure absolutely helps in the launch of a record.

“Is the success long-term? Ask me again in five years. My guess is probably not. These singers deal in pop music of the moment. They’re told what to record and with whom. Long-term success is more complex. You grow into yourself; you have a point of view. Singing well isn’t enough.”

Coming from a talent scout at Lost Highway, that’s an interesting quote. Lost Highway is the “rebel” label that supports offbeat, less commercial music. They had Kim Richey on the label, but dropped her. She’s an amazing singer/songwriter who records great albums, so I can only assume it’s because her records weren’t selling well enough. Which leads to the conclusion that music is a business. Stunning.

Yet, that doesn’t stop the incessant ranking of what’s cool and hip. Continuing on with the American Idol theme, consider this assessment of three former contestants.

Clay Aiken

Sales: A. Airplay: B-. Artistic merit: C+. Celebrity Value: B. Overall: B

R.J. Helton

Sales: C. Airplay: C-. Artistic merit: B-. Celebrity value: C-. Overall: C+

Josh Gracin

Sales: N/A. Airplay: B-. Artistic merit: C+. Celebrity value: C+, Overall: C+

This is silly. Talent-wise, it’s impossible for me to comprehend that someone believes R.J. Helton has more “artistic merit” than Clay Aiken. Forget whether or not you prefer their music; for this discussion, it’s irrelevant. Clay Aiken has more raw talent and potential for the future than R.J. Helton could hope to dream about. Clay Aiken has a future to shape with his voice. If he needs to improve his song selection and reduce his cheese factor, that’s what his second album is for. And his third.

The word we’re looking for is “career”. As Ms. Buie said: “Long-term success is more complex.” It comes from musicians willing to change and grow. Who knows if Clay Aiken will… But he shouldn’t be counted out because he became famous on American Idol.

Consider Hanson‘s career. They were labeled a “boy band” because they were kids, they released a pop record (Middle of Nowhere), and that was the label in 1997. Slap the “boy band” label on them and there’s no thinking needed. When they have success, chalk it up to crazy little 13-year-old girls and smirk when they end up in drug rehab. It’s too bad they didn’t follow the script.

While Middle of Nowhere is a brilliant pop record, their second album, This Time Around is a stunning, raw rock record. They matured and it showed in their music. Yet, the album didn’t sell. Maybe it was the “boy band” label, maybe not. Whatever the reason, I’m sure there was some pre-conceived notion about them that hurt sales. But that doesn’t change the album.

Yesterday, they released their latest album, called Underneath. This is an amazing album. It’s a tremendous step forward in craft, both musically and lyrically. I’m glad I didn’t dismiss them because they’re not kewwwwwl. Growth is fun to watch.

Since that’s not cool to discuss in hip circles and making fun of people is acceptable, we have the list of “50 Worst Songs Ever”. Here’s the list of Blender’s “Bottom of the Barrel”:

1. “We Built This City” – Starship (1985)
2. “Achy Breaky Heart” – Billy Ray Cyrus (1992)
3. “Everybody Have Fun Tonight” – Wang Chung (1986)
4. “Rollin'” – Limpbizkit (2000)
5. “Ice Ice Baby” – Vanilla Ice (1990)
6. “The Heart of Rock & Roll” – Huey Lewis & The News (1984)
7. “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” – Bobby McFerrin (1988)
8. “Party All the Time” – Eddie Murphy (1985)
9. “American Life” – Madonna (2003)
10. “Ebony and Ivory” – Paul McCartney & Stevie Wonder (1982
)

I don’t like all of those songs, but the worst songs ever? Doubtful. Just like you, I now need to load up “Party All the Time” and blare it at full volume. These songs are not going to save the world, but that doesn’t mean they’re not valid. Music can be good without being serious. In this context, my definition of “good” is “fun”. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying fun music.

There is a caveat for a song to make the list, as Blender editor Craig Marks explains:

Each dud had to be a hit to make the hit list. Though Right Said Fred’s I’m Too Sexy got in, such novelties as Macarena and Who Let the Dogs Out, which by design are cheesy, were nixed. The jury also whittled down the bulk of “rotten, excruciatingly bad low-hanging fruit from the ’70s,” Marks says.

However, so that there’s no confusion over what we’re supposed to think, there’s this:

Starship’s 1985 anthem, the runaway No. 1 stinker, “seems to inspire the most virulent feelings of outrage,” editor Craig Marks says. “It purports to be anti-commercial but reeks of ’80s corporate-rock commercialism. It’s a real reflection of what practically killed rock music in the ’80s.”

The list may contain a diversity of songs, but most of the “worst” songs are from the 80’s and very early 90’s. Blender believes it knows exactly how to define good rock music. I suspect they whittle this down to a simple maxim: rock music paused with the end of Led Zeppelin and un-paused with the arrival of Nirvana. Ridiculous.

Finally, to make sure that everyone understands the truth, there’s this wonderful nugget of open-minded insight:

To accommodate coming horrors, the list can’t be considered definitive. Noting that Clay Aiken’s Invisible landed at No. 11, Marks predicts that “as soon as the American Idol season is finished, there will be a new entry.”

Lists like this are stupid. But we can all agree that “Achy Breaky Heart” is the worst song ever.

Not my America

According to this article, the “New Mexico Republican Central Committee has voted to censure the Sandoval County clerk, who issued marriage licenses to same-sex couples.” Here are a few details of the censure:

Dunlap issued 66 same-sex marriage licenses on February 20th before the sheriff, acting on instructions from the state attorney general stepped in and shut down her office.

At the time, Dunlap said she feared a lawsuit if she did not grant the licenses to gay couples. The county attorney in a legal opinion to Dunlap after San Francisco began allowing gays to marry said that denying marriage licenses to same-sex couples in New Mexico was against the state constitution.

A judge issued a temporary restraining order to prevent Dunlap from issuing any more same-sex licenses and the case is currently before the courts.

Not everyone agreed with the censure. I’m not willing to shout Barry Bitzer’s name from the roof of my building, announcing him to be the savior of the Republican Party, but he deserves some credit for common sense. This is his reasoning for being the lone dissenter against the censure:

“I’m afraid this will be played as a gay issue and not a good government issue,” he told the committee.

I’m not trying to play party politics for the ultimate point I’m going to make here. I’m not a fan of the rhetoric of the Democratic Party. I only “support” them because I disagree with them less. That’s an unfortunate reflection on the state of American politics. But I must point this out… from the party of “inclusion”, there’s this gem:

“We need to make clear we don’t support her actions, we don’t support her now and we will never support her in the future,” said former Rio Rancho City Councilor Lonnie Clayton. “The perception is that our silence is consent.”

No need to remain open-minded. What good would that do?

As everyone knows, I’ve written extensively on the same-sex marriage debate. Obviously, I want to persuade people to agree with me. I feel I’ve represented my side well. If you don’t agree with me, that’s fine. If I’ve made you think about the debate in something other than just a knee-jerk “I don’t support it,” that’s great. Differing opinions makes this world an interesting place.

With that in mind, I hope that I don’t need to persuade anyone to the correct opinion about this rationale for the censure:

“Other than assassination, all we can do is censure her,” said committee chairman Richard Gibbs.

Assassination? Assassination? Assassination! I’m at a loss, but that quote speaks for itself. Which country is this?

Aren’t you glad I’m blogging again?

As if we needed further proof of the current spree of attacks on rights, now the Justice Department is going after pornography. According to the article, the goal isn’t to rid the country of porn that is clearly reprehensible, such as child pornography:

In this field office in Washington, 32 prosecutors, investigators and a handful of FBI agents are spending millions of dollars to bring anti-obscenity cases to courthouses across the country for the first time in 10 years. Nothing is off limits, they warn, even soft-core cable programs such as HBO’s long-running Real Sex or the adult movies widely offered in guestrooms of major hotel chains.

Department officials say they will send “ripples” through an industry that has proliferated on the Internet and grown into an estimated $10 billion-a-year colossus profiting Fortune 500 corporations such as Comcast, which offers hard-core movies on a pay-per-view channel.

The Justice Department recently hired Bruce Taylor, who was instrumental in a handful of convictions obtained over the past year and unsuccessfully represented the state in a 1981 case, Larry Flynt vs. Ohio.

This scares me. I believe that we are free to make, distribute, and view pornography if we wish, given that it involves consenting adults. That’s the basic idea of liberty. Yet, we have this:

Drew Oosterbaan, chief of the division in charge of obscenity prosecutions at the Justice Department, says officials are trying to send a message and halt an industry they see as growing increasingly “lawless.”

“We want to do everything we can to deter this conduct” by producers and consumers, Oosterbaan said. “Nothing is off the table as far as content.”

Deter this conduct? By consumers? Nothing is off the table as far as content? Where might this be heading…

Regarding the law that Attorney General Ashcroft and the Justice Department will use, there’s this:

The law itself rests on the landmark 1973 Supreme Court decision in Miller vs. California, which held that something is “obscene” only if an average person applying contemporary community standards finds it patently offensive. But until now, it hasn’t been prosecuted at the federal level for more than 10 years.

The question is simple: who decides “community standards”? That leads to the next question I have: if my neighbors disagree with what I’m doing, but I’m not harming anyone, why do they get to decide that I can’t do it? When did the Constitution begin to grant the right for the majority to quiet the minority opinion? I don’t believe it does.

Freedom grants you the right to believe and behave as you wish, as long as you’re not harming others. The drawback is that I get the same rights. Freedom doesn’t imply freedom from mental anguish because of things you disagree with. The only way to “guarantee” that we get all Disney and no MTV (as FCC Commissioner Michael J. Copps so eloquently put the family-oriented debate) is to turn America into a dictatorship.

Instead, I prefer this idea from Representative Ron Paul, which is brilliant. (I don’t know his views on pornography, so I’m not endorsing the connection that this quote represents his views on pornography. But it’s relevant for the my view of the concept of censorship – “content intrusion” for those of you playing the home version of The Political Hate Speech Drinking Game&trade.):

Since most Americans- I hope- are still for freedom of expression of political ideas and religious beliefs, no one claims that anyone who endorses freedom of speech therefore endorses the nutty philosophy and religious views that are expressed. We should all know that the 1st Amendment was not written to protect non-controversial mainstream speech, but rather the ideas and beliefs of what the majority see as controversial or fringe.

The temptation has always been great to legislatively restrict rudeness, prejudice, and minority views, and it’s easiest to start by attacking the clearly obnoxious expressions that most deem offensive. The real harm comes later. But “later” is now approaching.

The failure to understand that radio, TV, and movies more often than not reflect the peoples’ attitudes prompts this effort. It was never law that prohibited moral degradation in earlier times. It was the moral standards of the people who rejected the smut that we now see as routine entertainment. Merely writing laws and threatening huge fines will not improve the moral standards of the people. Laws like the proposed “Broadcast Indecency Act of 2004” merely address the symptom of a decaying society, while posing a greater threat to freedom of expression. Laws may attempt to silence the bigoted and the profane, but the hearts and minds of those individuals will not be changed. Societal standards will not be improved. Government has no control over these standards, and can only undermine liberty in its efforts to make individuals more moral or the economy fairer.

Proponents of using government authority to censor certain undesirable images and comments on the airwaves resort to the claim that the airways belong to all the people, and therefore it’s the government’s responsibility to protect them. The mistake of never having privatized the radio and TV airwaves does not justify ignoring the 1st Amendment mandate that “Congress shall make no law abridging freedom of speech.” When everyone owns something, in reality nobody owns it. Control then occurs merely by the whims of the politicians in power. From the very start, licensing of radio and TV frequencies invited government censorship that is no less threatening than that found in totalitarian societies.

We should not ignore the smut and trash that has invaded our society, but laws like this will not achieve the goals that many seek. If a moral society could be created by law, we would have had one a long time ago. The religious fundamentalists in control of other countries would have led the way. Instead, authoritarian violence reigns in those countries.

If it is not recognized that this is the wrong approach to improve the quality of the airways, a heavy price will be paid. The solution to decaying moral standards has to be voluntary, through setting examples in our families, churches, and communities- never by government coercion. It just doesn’t work.

Amen.

Freedom is beautifully ugly

I’ve put this entry on hold for more than a week, but thanks to the FCC’s nonsense regarding Howard Stern, it’s now relevant. Here are my views on the National Association of Broadcaster’s Summit on Responsible Programming. This summit featured key speeches by FCC Chairman Michael Powell and FCC Commissioner Michael J. Copps. I could offer a nice thesis on indecency and my Libertarian view, but I’ve explained that in many previous posts. Thus, I wish to take issue with parts of the speeches, offering my commentary on each segment I believe to be relevant to the current debate.

First up, comments by FCC Chairman Michael Powell:

Of particular significance, and concern, is that the debate re-energized the previously fading debate about the role of government in content-whether it be restricting offensive content, or promoting favored content and viewpoints. This increased comfort with content intrusion is part of what is on display in the furious debate about broadcast indecency and excessive violence.

Increased comfort with “content intrusion”? How can he say that and think it’s acceptable? It’s not. He’s framing the debate and hoping, with reasonable expectation, that people will agree. “Content intrusion” is called censorship. I could end my argument here and it would be sufficient.

Indeed, I am of the view that competitive pressures much more than consolidation are what account for more programming that tests the limits of indecency and violence. As audience continues to fragment and the number of choices multiplies, it is harder and harder to grab and hold a viewer or listener.

It’s harder, so broadcasters are following formulas. The “indecency” showing up on the public airwaves is a result of changing attitudes in America. Writers are expressing that acceptance. Broadcasters try to fight this.

Watch television or listen to the radio. Everything is the same, except for a few outliers on the fringe. Those fringe players are the talented ones. Howard Stern is not the norm. Jack Diamond is the norm. But Howard Stern is nationally syndicated because this is what people want to hear. There is a Jack Diamond in every city in America. They’re on the air because they’re not “filthy”. But listeners don’t come charging back for more. Family-oriented gets wacky programming. Talent-driven gets funny programming. I’ll take funny.

Currently, however, we are not talking about speech or conduct on the margin that has set off the current powder keg in the country. We see increasing – – -I might even say escalating – – – complaints from the public because increasingly it seems the media is not playing close to the line, but is outright leaping past the line and in fact daring the audience and daring the government to do anything about it. Some of the transcripts I have been forced to read reveal content that is pure trash, plain and simple, and few, other than staunch libertarians, could possibly stand up and defend it publicly.

Michael, please, put the hammer down. It’s hard work building your own cross. Stop for a moment and get some lemonade.

In other words, the debate is not best understood as one about what you can do or cannot do on radio or television. Rather, it is more about whether consumers can rely on reasonable expectations about the range of what they will see on a given program at a given time.

He’s lying. If he believed this, he wouldn’t be going after Howard Stern. Every listener who tunes in Howard Stern knows exactly what type of program will air. If he believed this, he’d be fighting for time-delays on live broadcasts instead of tougher legislation.

It is not Janet’s nudity that is decried. It is the fact that “by god it was the Superbowl!” the largest prime television event of the year. An event for friends and family. People do not want to feel that they can be struck by lightning, or hit by a truck at any moment. Similarly, they do not like the sense they have no safe expectation of what they might see or hear during a given program-precisely the formula some are using to grab headlines. By the nature of your medium, consumers expect more of you than most.

And now he’s trying to reduce Janet Jackson to familiarity. He’s attempting to further frame the debate in his favor. And I fail to see the connection between naked breasts and being struck by lightning or being hit by a truck. And I do expect more of broadcasters, as opposed to worrying about nuclear proliferation, world hunger, and global warming. Naked breasts are a serious danger to civilization.

And, last but not least, the law says so.

I know he didn’t say this. It’s not possible, even though “Because I said so” is a great argument. Slavery was “the law”. No female suffrage was “the law”. Does this make it right?

It is your “publicness” that also invites strong governmental oversight and interest. The ability to limit these intrusions and protect your commercial viability depends heavily on policing yourselves. I think this industry must set a higher standard commensurate with its privilege as public trustees and with its own traditions. Setting your own standards is your best defense.

In this vein, I want to strongly encourage you to develop and adopt a new voluntary code to guide your actions in the same spirit you have in years past. I believe you can create such best practices and guidelines, consistent with the law. It would be in your interest to do so.

Seriously? This is a stupid idea. It’s the same as being forced to cut your own switch. (If you’re not from the South, you may need that explained to you.) If broadcasters knew what was safe and what was “illegal”, this debate wouldn’t be happening. Their point is that if you don’t like their rules, you’re going to tell them to go back and try again. Why waste time, Chairman Powell? What are you afraid of?

Finally, I have heard some of you call for an FCC rulemaking to create more “clarity” as to what is prohibited. I want to warn you that this is unwise. You do not want to ask the government to write a “Red Book” of Dos and Don’ts. I understand the complaint about knowing where the line is, but heavier government entanglement through a “Dirty Conduct Code” will not only chill speech, it may deep freeze it. It might be an ice age that would last a very long time.

That is the money quote. Nope, they’re not interested in taking away your rights. Nope, not at all. Chairman Powell, you can talk all the big talk you want, but it’s obvious that you don’t want to write a “Red Book” because you know a court will strike it down as unconstitutional.

I will conclude, as I once concluded a speech on the First Amendment several years ago: “We should think twice before allowing the government the discretion to filter information to us as they see fit, for the King always takes his ransom.”

I was wrong. That’s the money quote.

Next up, comments by FCC Commissioner Michael J. Copps:

We are here because millions of Americans have made it convincingly clear that they no longer will tolerate media’s race to the bottom when it comes to indecency on the people’s airwaves.

Prove it. One listener in Fort Lauderdale doesn’t speak for America. Until you set up a corresponding system that allows citizens to voice their approval of “indecent” material, you’ll only hear the slanted voice of complaints. That’s not fair government.

Every day when I boot up my FCC computer, every time I visit a town or city anywhere across this country of ours, I hear the people’s concern: we are fed up, they say, with the patently offensive programming coming our way so much of the time. I saw the people’s anger all last year when Commissioner Adelstein and I took to the road in our media ownership forums, and I saw it again over the past few months as all the Commissioners were in Charlotte, North Carolina and San Antonio, Texas for hearings on localism-people from all walks of life and every political persuasion lined up to express their frustration-their anger-with the sex, violence and profanity that pervades so much of our media. We even had kids stand up and say how fed up they are with the programming coming their way.

Define “patently offensive”. And when did it become acceptable for Charlotte and San Antonio to speak for America?

About the only place where the Super Bowl had a galvanizing effect was here in Washington, particularly at the FCC, where the tired old arguments I have been hearing for the past three years were finally laid to rest-I think. “If people don’t like what they’re seeing, they can just turn it off,” I was told. Are we supposed to just turn off the all-American Super Bowl?

My response is simple: Yes, turn off the Super Bowl. I know it will be difficult, since you’ll have to unwrap yourself from the flag, but I think you can manage it. Watching the Super Bowl is your right. It is not your right to dictate what should be on the Super Bowl. If you get to make that argument, then I’m making the rule that the Redskins get to play in the Super Bowl every year. Am I supposed to watch the all-American Super Bowl without my favorite team? I think not, Mr. Copps.

I believe that, as a society, we have a responsibility to protect children from content that is inappropriate for them. And when it comes to the broadcast media, the Federal Communications Commission has the statutory obligation-the legal mandate-to protect children from indecent, profane and obscene programming.

I’m sure my brother is thrilled that you feel you can protect his son better than he can. I believe he’ll expect you to pay child support if you intend to raise his child, though. Oh, but I forgot, he’s a man, so he’s an irresponsible, inadequate parent. Forgive me. Please.

But while you meet and discuss and move toward I hope resolute new industry policies on indecency, I am going to be pressing my colleagues to get on with the job of enforcing the statute, using all the ammunition already in our armory and also putting to immediate use any additional arrows that Congress may provide for our quiver.

Perfect. While Chairman Powell is suggesting the industry right it’s own rules of conduct, you don’t wish to wait for that. You just want to enforce, enforce, enforce. Allow me to ask this silly question: which rules are you enforcing?

Let me urge you also to cast your net widely as you develop a program. A grassroots issue merits-indeed compels-grassroots input. If this was an “inside-the-Beltway” issue, we wouldn’t be here today. Open your doors, let the sun shine in, reach out and talk to those who you want to see and hear your programs. You’ll have a better product by far if you do this.

Commissioner Copps should be honest and say what type of programming he demands. Broadcasters have been “opening their doors and letting the sun shine in” with some silly little invention called the Nielsen Ratings. It tells broadcasters what people are watching. Which determines what programming earns money from advertisers. Which determines what continues to get on the air. And who decides what defines “better product” in your mind? What if broadcasters do this and the people say “We want smut!”? What then?

It’s clear that both men have an agenda. I’m more concerned about Chairman Powell because he’s trying to shape this debate with subtlety. Commissioner Copps is trying to bludgeon the issue, which will never achieve his desired result. However, both are attacking free speech rights and that’s unacceptable.

Papa I know you’re going to upset

Thanks to a link from Wil Wheaton, I discovered Andrew Sullivan‘s blog. He’s a conservative, so I don’t always agree with him, but I find myself agreeing more than I would’ve expected. Whether I agree or not, his views are intelligent and logical. In reading his blog, I came across an article he wrote for the January 26, 2004 issue of Time. It’s called “Nanny-In-Chief: Bush versus Freedom”.

I’ve written extensively about my displeasure with President Bush and his presidency. There are instances where I believe he is attacked unjustly, or at least for the wrong reasons, but Andrew Sullivan’s article is a brilliant synopsis of President Bush’s agenda and its flaws. Consider:

There’s barely a speech by president Bush that doesn’t cite the glories of human freedom. It’s God’s gift to mankind, he believes. And in some ways, this president has clearly expanded it: the people of Afghanistan and Iraq now enjoy liberties unimaginable only a few years ago. But there’s a strange exception to this Bush doctrine: it ends when you reach America’s shores. Within the United States, the Bush administration has shown an unusually hostile attitude toward the exercise of personal freedom. When your individual choices conflict with what the Bush people think is good for you, they’ve been only too happy to intervene. The government, Bush clearly believes, has a right to be involved in many personal decisions individuals make – punishing some, encouraging others, nudging and prodding the public to live the good life as the president understands it. The nanny-state, much loved by Democrats, is now thriving under Republicans.

I recently heard Bill O’Reilly say that America has the decision of which view of personal liberty to support and promote: secular or morality-based. Obviously, he wants a moral minimum for the country, while I believe that a secular view, based on separation of church and state, is best. Anarchy will not result from either, but freedom is extended to everyone under my ideal.

Mr. Sullivan continues with this:

The president is proud of his big government moralism. As he put it in his first State of the Union, “Values are important, so we have tripled funding for character education to teach our children not only reading and writing, but right from wrong.” Sounds inoffensive enough. But who exactly determines what is right and what is wrong? Churches? Synagogues? Parents? Teachers? Nah. The federal government.

Again, President Bush is attempting to have the federal government parent our children. Parents don’t know enough or may not believe the right things, so Congress and the President (but not the activist judges) will do the job properly. This is wrong.

While Mr. Sullivan’s article loses compelling force near the end, he finishes with a succinct flourish.

There has always been a tension in conservatism between those who favor more liberty and those who want more morality. But what’s indisputable is that Bush’s “compassionate conservatism” is a move toward the latter – the use of the government to impose and subsidize certain morals over others. He is fusing big government liberalism with religious right moralism. It’s the nanny-state with more cash. Your cash, that is. And their morals.

That’s not a fair trade for me. Others may disagree, but it gets back to the dual edge of freedom. You get freedom, but so do I. Anything short of that isn’t freedom.

Breaking rocks in the hot sun

Sometimes, it’s possible to beat The Man. I’m sure everyone remembers my little tirade against my county government regarding their botch of my tax payment. They caved and fixed their mistake. Technically, the government accepted the appeal on my motorcycle, but not the appeal on my car. I convinced them that was stupid since I paid them as one payment.

I’m surprised, but pleased. I dealt with an injustice by challenging it and I succeeded. This is the type of situation that reminds me why I continue to challenge stupidity, even when it would be easier to acquiesce. It can be corrected. I shouldn’t have to fight the government to get it to do what it’s supposed to do, but this isn’t a perfect world. They didn’t admit their mistake, just pretended it didn’t happen.

The consolation is that, at least for today, the tally is: Tony 1, The Man 0. That’s a great score.