Category: Ranting

Reading a review of last night’s American Idol, I discovered this gem:

He wowed them with a soulful Desperado, though, prompting Randy’s four-word assessment: “See you in Hollywood, dude.”

“See” is number one. “You” is number two. “In” is number three. “Hollywood” is number four. “Dude” is number what?

I like USA Today. I applaud that it’s written for a 6th-grade level because that encourages more people to read it. It’s the best newspaper for presenting a broad range of news stories with minimal slant. But it shouldn’t be written by imbeciles.

I suppose “dude” is number threEve.

Just when you were afraid I’d gone soft with the sentimental skiing narration… (part three arrives later tonight)

Weather forecasting is generally an imperfect activity. I understand that. In Washington, DC, the local meterologists seem to use a Ouija board for their forecasts. Specifically, I watched the weather telecast on Fox 5 this morning.

Yesterday, the meteorologist predicted freezing rain and ice to follow the snow we’d already received. The forecast changed many times throughout the day, with a hedged revision always thrown in. The following is his morning monologue:

I guessed wrong on the ice yesterday, so I’ll be giving away an umbrella later this morning.

An umbrella? At least make it meaningful and give away cash. Better yet, how about this: if you screw up the forecast, you get into a pit and we watch you fend off a hungry lion. You get weapons, of course, but one of you dies.

I believe that idea could happen some day, except I know there’s some ass in Olney who can’t wait to get his free Fox 5 umbrella.

I get a lot of spam at my work e-mail account. It’s annoying, but easy enough to delete penis enlargement and discount vicodin nonsense. I ignore these and secretly laugh that this continues because I know it means people respond to these. When I checked my e-mail this morning, I didn’t laugh.

I received spam with the subject line “CC:Jews suck!”. I did a double-take because it was so ridiculous. Once I realized that it really said that, I did what I never do with spam; I opened the e-mail. This is what it said inside: “Do you hate everyone but white people then join the Nazi revolution!”. I am without commentary.

Even though the current anti-spam legislation isn’t working, it’s clear that we need to continue trying for at least one reason other than the nuisance of unsolicited e-mail. I shudder to think of who will respond to this, but I know some will.

I’ll end with a quote from Wil Wheaton’s post “I heart spammers.”:

Therefore, on behalf of the Internet, I would like to invite all the spammers in the world to kindly fuck themselves.

And don’t cuddle after, you bastards.

WARNING: There is a considerable amount of profanity in this post. Skip this post if you don’t wish to read these words.

After reading this article from USA Today, I am so upset. Just because Bono says “fuck” on tv, that doesn’t mean “family rights” groups get to trample on the Constitution. United States citizens are granted inalienable rights that are being ignored. It’s morally wrong to censor speech because some people don’t like it.

After the enforcement board ruled that Bono’s use of “fuck” wasn’t sexual, FCC Chairman Michael K. Powell recommends that the FCC ignore this and prohibit anyone from saying “fuck” on television, whether pre-recorded or live. This is censorship.

Why is it that Americans are so puritanical? Why are we afraid of profanity? They’re just words, protected by the first amendment.

I googled this issue and found an article at CNN.com that explains why this thinking is wrong, based on constitutional law. I don’t want elected or appointed representatives of my government baby-sitting me. I don’t need their protection, thanks.

In response to this, the U.S. House of Representatives is considering bill HR 3687, which would punish any station airing the 8 “profane” words and phrases outlined in the bill. Here’s the text of HR 3687:

To amend section 1464 of title 18, United States Code, to provide for the punishment of certain profane broadcasts, and for other purposes.

Be it enacted by the Senate and House of Representatives of the United States of America in Congress assembled, That section 1464 of title 18, United States Code, is amended–

(1) by inserting `(a)’ before `Whoever’; and

(2) by adding at the end the following:

`(b) As used in this section, the term `profane’, used with respect to language, includes the words `shit’, `piss’, `fuck’, `cunt’, `asshole’, and the phrases `cock sucker’, `mother fucker’, and `ass hole’, compound use (including hyphenated compounds) of such words and phrases with each other or with other words or phrases, and other grammatical forms of such words and phrases (including verb, adjective, gerund, participle, and infinitive forms).’.

Let me understand this. It’s ok for the Congress of the United States to think, write, and speak the words “shit”, “piss”, “fuck”, “cunt”, “asshole”, “cocksucker”, “mother fucker” and “asshole”, but it’s not ok for me to hear these words? Why? They’re just words. If someone doesn’t like them, turn off the radio or tv. They should monitor what their kids watch. Blah, blah, blah.

I e-mailed the FCC Chairman and Commissioners, as well as my Congressman to voice my displeasure with this. If you agree, please do the same to save America.

Michael Powell
Kathleen Abernathy
Michael Copps
Kevin Martin
Jonathan Adelstein

Here’s the link to find your Representative. This is the e-mail I sent to my representative:

After reading that the FCC would rule that no use of the “f-word” is acceptable on the airwaves, I discovered that HR 3687 is under consideration. As a constituent of yours, I do not support this bill because it ignores the First Amendment of the U.S. Constitution.

While I am not offended by such language, I understand that others may be offended. However, the purpose of the constitution is to provide majority rule while protecting the rights of the minority. Free speech is a right, not a priviledge. Do not support this bill.

Even though I’m right, I know I’ll get a form letter about why I should be thrilled that my Representative is working hard to protect me and the ideals of God, family, and America. When I get it, I’ll put it on the pile with all the others.

I’m starting a new series of posts titled “Today, I learned…”. These won’t be daily posts but will dscuss anything “profound” that I learn.

Today’s lesson is this, with a 2-for-1 bonus thrown in:

Watermelon doesn’t smell good when left on a counter to rot.

and

Sometimes, having roommates sucks. And the definition of “sucks” can change in unexpected ways.

Scanning The Washington Post, I read an article about Britney Spears getting married over the weekend. With regard to this, I don’t care.

The article itself angered me. Reilly Capps, which I have to assume is a fake name, wrote the article. What Reilly wrote is not journalism fit for a respected newspaper like The Washington Post. When I search for news from my newspaper, I don’t want this:

Other cynics pointed out that Spears’s career has struggled to find direction in the roughly two years since she split with Justin Timberlake, who now dates Cameron Diaz despite spending a half-dozen years as lead singer of a dorky boy band.

“…Justin Timberlake, who now dates Cameron Diaz despite spending a half-dozen years as lead singer of a dorky boy band”? What gives Reilly the authority to judge who is worthy of whose affection? What gives Reilly the authority to use the adjective “dorky” outside of a source’s quote? This isn’t the Weekly World News.

Now consider this:

Whatever the motive, the fact that Spears has got her first marriage under her belt and will soon have her first divorce/annulment can only help her career. As Madonna, J. Lo and (soon) Jessica Simpson will testify, you ain’t a diva till you’ve been divorced.

It’s good to know that Reilly Capps has insider knowledge about Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey’s marriage. I admit, I mocked them in an earlier post, but I was mocking the show and how they’re portrayed. I’m smart enough to know that the show is edited to tell a story, which may or may not be the true story if MTV showed the film footage in its original linear flow. Apparently a cheap joke is worth ignorance for Reilly.

It continues:

Britney has been semi-famous ever since she joined the Mickey Mouse Club and became a Mouseketeer. She met Timberlake on the show and they dated for years, but she swears they didn’t, you know, do it until about two years ago. Really.

It’s good to know that Reilly resorts to cheap humor to nail down the point that we’re all better than Britney. That’s definitely easier than actual thought. Good work.

I’m glad I read this article online; no tree had to die for me to read this fine piece of journalism.

I’ve stated before that I’m a vegan, so the discovery of Mad Cow Disease in the U.S. doesn’t scare me. I don’t need to speak out about it or preach to you about your eating habits. Eat whatever makes you happy. All I ask is that you make an attempt to educate yourself, so that’s not the point of this post.

While searching the news this afternoon, I came across an insightful article about the government’s response to this crisis. More cows will be killed, more meat (probably already eaten) will be recalled, blah, blah, blah. It’s the same nonsense. But it’s only logical to assume that if there’s one infected cow, there are more that haven’t been discovered.

What disturbs me is this:

“Even though we know with a very good degree of certainty that there’s no direct disease spread animal-to-animal, simply being on the same farm there are some public perception issues related to those animals,” [Dr. Ron DeHaven, the Agriculture Department’s chief veterinarian] said.

Public perception issues? Rather than educate the public, it’s easier to slaughter animals? I’m not bitching about that from a vegan, “Please don’t kill the poor cows” mentality. The safety of humans should be the top priority.

I’m angry that this is how we’ve come to expect our government to treat us. We accept this. I’m not four, I can think for myself. Tell me the facts, the risks, and how to prevent the problem (yes, that should include vegetarianism/veganism). I can handle it.

Also, the spin has started. It’s not our fault. Let’s fix this problem, but we want the world to know that it’s someone else’s fault and we’re smarter than everyone. I give you this:

American officials have stressed that the diseased cow’s age and the date of the feed ban suggest the infection occurred in Canada. This idea, if proven, would underline the effectiveness of the ban and, what is more important, would allow U.S. authorities to place the root of the problem north of the border, in Canada.

Like I said in the beginning, Trey Parker and Matt Stone were right. Blame Canada.