Category: Virginia Tech

He isn’t being harsh enough

I can’t begin to explain how happy this thrashing by Radley Balko made me this morning. Consider:

The Washington Post’s Sally Jenkins — possibly the worst major daily sports columnist writing today — writes the most bizarre sports opinion piece I’ve seen in a very long time. And sports columns can be awful.

…

I’d suggest that Jenkins stick to writing about sports, and only sports. But she tends to embarass [sic] herself there, too.

Ummm, I concur. Not specifically about her foray into “sports as Intelligent Design?” argument. I could challenge any number of questions she poses, but why bother? I concurred with Mr. Balko’s opinion almost five years ago.

When Michael Vick led Virginia Tech to the BCS National Championship game (in January 2000), Ms. Jenkins wrote the most condescending piece of “journalism” I’d ever read. Her column amounted to little more than a nice pat on the head for Virginia Tech, congratulating us on reaching the pinnacle game while admonishing us for thinking we could compete with a “real” team (Florida State). That we led after three quarters and could’ve won until almost the end seemed to escape her attention. Every other football analyst in the nation wrote about the stunning performance by Michael Vick in that game and the amazing rise of Virginia Tech throughout the season, while Ms. Jenkins stood alone, pretending that none of it happened. Her column was so obscenely devoid of intelligence, I wrote a letter to the Washington Post. (I knew it wouldn’t accomplish anything, but still.)

I wonder if the last four years of Virginia Tech football changed her mind about our worthiness? How about our preseason rankings?

From the land of milk and duh

An interesting new scientific study is beaming around the Internets today. The story goes deeper than the premise, but I think it’s important, or at least relevant to me, to highlight it. Consider:

Redheads sunburn easily, putting them at high risk of skin cancer.

Really? No kidding.

Ok, so that was the setup so that I could write “from the land of milk and duh.” There’s actually an interesting scientific discovery here. Consider:

Duke chemistry professor John Simon analyzed how the pigments in naturally red and black hair reacted as they absorbed either ultraviolet B rays associated with sunburn, or ultraviolet A rays, which can penetrate and damage skin even without a burn.

Both kinds of light caused a reaction with the redheads’ pigment that creates molecules that damage DNA and cells in ways that can spur cancer.

In contrast, only UVB light caused that oxidative reaction with the pigment from black hair, called eumelanin, Simon reported.

Dr. Simon stated that this is only a theory, with more research necessary to determine if his findings are consistent with other researchers. That, of course, is how science works. Doctors knew that redheads have a higher risk of skin cancer, but no one knew why. Dr. Simon presents his hypothesis based on test observations and now other scientists work to disprove that theory. Sorta like evolution, one suspects.

This theory may not lead to the proverbial cure for cancer (literally in this case), but the advance of knowledge is important. I’m not even sure it adds much because it doesn’t change my relationship with the sun; I treat the sun as a stalker and avoid it as much as possible. (I’m practically a shut-in.) But, again, satisfying intellectual curiosity is useful in a developed society. And it allows me to write “from the land of milk and duh.”

Particularly annoying, though, is I now know that even when I’m walking around, my arch nemesis UVA is lurking. Bastards.

(Yes, I know I’m probably the only person who thinks that’s funny, but holy crap, am I laughing.)

I won’t even discuss “Break the cable! Break the cable!”

Reading through my Virginia Tech news feed tonight, I realized that classes started Monday. Normally, this wouldn’t factor into my world anymore because I graduated more than seven years ago, except that memory sparked another memory. So I’ll share it here.

After my freshman year, the annual influx of freshmen always entertained. It was the common belief as we all aged, the new students looked younger and younger. I swear that toddlers attended VT by the end of my graduate career.

But we had no sympathy for the kids. We’d ride the Blacksburg Transit (the free bus system) just to mess with them. They were always the impatient chatterboxes intent on pestering the driver with their constant giddiness about where all the parties were. They’d only been in town for six or seven days, so they knew nothing. As knowledgeable Blacksburg inhabitants, we always told them when to get off the bus. We didn’t tell them the correct bus stop, but they couldn’t expect everything, could they?

We painted our office orange and maroon

I found an interesting story concerning my alma mater, but first, some background about its collaboration with King Abdulaziz University:

Ongoing discussions linking the two universities in the areas of distance and distributed learning (eLearning) and engineering were established by Sedki Riad, professor of electrical engineering and director of International Programs in Virginia Tech’s College of Engineering, and Tom Wilkinson, director of Virginia Tech’s Institute for Distance and Distributed Learning (IDDL).
…
As a first step, 60 KAU faculty members will arrive in Blacksburg this summer for a series of professional development activities that will be developed and delivered by Virginia Tech’s English Department, Communications Department, Faculty Development Institute, the Institute for Distance and Distributed Learning, and the English Language Institute. KAU faculty will participate in two of four planned development programs: 1) English instruction, 2) communications instruction, 3) basic and intermediate computer and web skill development, and 4) designing, developing and delivering eLearning courses. Family members accompanying KAU faculty also will have an opportunity to participate in activities at the English Language Institute.

I hadn’t heard anything about this when it happened in March, but I wasn’t involved in any of those programs while in school, so I’m not shocked that this missed my radar. It does sound interesting, though. Any program that expands Virginia Tech’s influence further is probably a good endeavor. Sharing with a culture we don’t normally think of when discussing higher education should be a bonus.

I say “probably” and “should be” because, today, I came across this article. The summer classes mentioned in the original article are taking place in Blacksburg, which I would suspect would follow our ideas of educational instruction, more or less. That’s not occurring. Consider:

The courses include topics such as Web site development and online instruction, but in keeping with the preferences of the Saudi university, the university created separate classes for the approximately 30 male and 30 female faculty members.

Why would Virginia Tech segregate the male and female faculty? We don’t segregate classes like that in the United States, at least not public universities, which Virginia Tech is. I’m disappointed that Virginia Tech would do this. I’ve always believed that Virginia Tech is a wonderful institution. In six years spent in Blacksburg, I never witnessed any form of discrimination. I hope that the details aren’t as frustrating as they seem.

Of course there is backlash coming from some of the Virginia Tech faculty because of these classes.

Eloise Coupey, an associate professor of marketing at the Virginia Tech, filed a complaint with the school Tuesday alleging the single-sex classes created a hostile environment for women.

“The presence of these segregated classes on campus indicates to me that the university doesn’t place a strong enough value on women’s rights,” Coupey said Wednesday. “This makes me feel that the university holds me in less regard than my male counterparts.”

Wait, what? Why is that environment hostile only to women? What about the men? Viewed from the context of the Saudis, yes, it’s specifically aimed at women. But viewed from the context of us, I’d consider it discriminatory to both the men and women involved. Unless Prof. Coupey is implying that men can learn from women in an educational environment but that the reverse isn’t true. I wonder, but I would still expect her to defend against all discrimination, regardless of gender.

In response to complaints, Virginia Tech “has made the course segregation optional,” which is amusing because of this additional information, clarifying what was implied earlier:

While the program was designed by Tech staff, administrators with King Abdulaziz University separated the classes by gender.

Tech subsequently offered to make the classes co-ed, however the Saudi faculty said they preferred the current set-up because most of their classrooms at home are single-sex. Separate classes also allows them to tailor the content to their needs, several Saudi faculty have said.
…
Saudi faculty have repeatedly stressed that they had chosen to separate by gender. Many of the professors earned their advanced degrees at American and European institutions and are therefore comfortable in co-ed settings, faculty said.

There is this additional detail:

King Abdulaziz University paid Virginia Tech $246,000 to design and operate the faculty development program this summer.

Fascinating. I’m still disappointed (only a tiny bit), but I’m not offended. Should I be? Perhaps I’m reading too much into the $246,000 payment, but it seems to me that King Abdulaziz University paid for a product which Virginia Tech agreed to create. Within reason, of course, King Abdulaziz University gets to set the requirements for the course. And if the students self-select a segregation plan? I’m under-whelmed by the need for outrage, but that’s because I think the facts suggest a simple solution. This isn’t the standard to which Virginia Tech should hold itself, so it should not have set the classes up this way. But it did. I see no harm in finishing this program with the optional, self-segregating plan. Next time, think wiser and clearer before setting up a program like this. If a university such as King Abdulaziz University refuses, don’t do the deal. Two-hundred-forty-six thousand dollars isn’t that much money. Live happily ever after. Simple.

And yet, it’s never that simple, is it? In a scene straight out of PCU, the outgoing director of Tech’s Women’s Studies Program offered a gem quote detailing how every event can be used for petty political point-scoring. Enjoy.

“I would say this demonstrates the insensitivity of the university administration to the experience of the women on campus,” [Bernice] Hausman said.

It’s visiting Saudi women, are you paying attention? Not every slight to a small group is a global “screw you” from the world to the women on campus. I have little doubt that $246,000 will now have to be re-directed to sensitivity training classes on the Virginia Tech campus for all administrators involved. I’ll take Ms. Hausman in the office pool as to who will teach the classes as an independent consultant/qualified expert?

Those guys think they’re revolutionaries

Here’s an interesting business lesson:

Apple Computer Chief Executive Steve Jobs has a reputation for thinking different. But now he might be planning a move for Apple that will leave even his biggest fans surprised–becoming a phone company.

It might sound far-fetched, but the pieces are in place for it to happen later this summer. Apple is already developing a hybrid iPod/cell phone with handset maker Motorola. And companies ranging from the Virgin Group to The Walt Disney Co. are proving that a new network model can allow all kinds of businesses to easily enter the mobile market.

Essentially, this entails Apple releasing an iTunes-branded cell phone, with the cellular network leased from an existing company such as Sprint or Cingular. The startup cost is minimal compared to the early days of cell phones because the network infrastructure is already in place. And Apple benefits from popularity currently unparalleled in customer electronics. It seems like a reasonable idea. But why would Apple want to go through the trouble when it could simplify this opportunity with an iTunes application for mobile phones?

But Apple might have a problem getting the devices into customers’ hands. Carriers will probably be loath to sell and support it, since they want to sell their own music downloads–not have customers upload tunes from home. “The carriers don’t like it,” says analyst Rob Enderle, head of The Enderle Group. “They want Apple to change the design so the phone has to sync through their networks, not with a PC.”

Of course the carriers don’t like it. They want to pretend that customers care more about the gatekeeper than what comes through the gates. customers may like the gatekeeper (Apple is the perfect example), but content is more important. Where the carriers go wrong is believing that exclusivity and control of content aren’t important. If customers thought the way carriers believe they think, AOL would still dominate.

Perhaps an example… Last year I decided to switch cell phone carriers. I’d had minor issues with Sprint so I opted to transfer my phone number to Verizon. After purchasing a new phone with exciting features, I impatiently waited for the phone to charge so I could upload my unique ringtones. Reading through the instruction manual, I found no references to uploading ringtones. I searched the internets to figure out how to do it. And that’s when I found out Verizon’s little secret. Despite all the nice features of the phone, I was beholden to their wishes. I could have any content I wanted as long as Verizon sold it. No personal ringtones, no fancy pictures, no diversionary games.

Five days later I returned the phone to Verizon and became a Sprint customer again because Sprint allowed me to use the phone I purchased in the way I wanted to use it. Today, when my brother calls me, a Hokie gobble announces the call.

Customers aren’t always rational, but they’re not stupid. If the customer has an iTunes account, why would Verizon think she wants a middleman to sell her music from iTunes? The existing carriers imagine monopoly powers where they don’t exist. They will learn the lesson, but as the lesson often is for large companies, the lesson probably won’t be pleasant. Competition dictates an adapt or die mentality; Apple understands this better than most.

Although an Apple phone may not happen, some form of an iTunes-capable phone will. It makes too much sense and Apple has the clout to make it happen. In the scenario I imagine, Verizon, Sprint, Cingular, and every other cellular carrier should not be surprised when cell phones show up next to iPods and PowerBooks in every Apple retail store.

(Link via Slashdot)

Bowling gutter balls through 9 frames, with a Turkey in the 10th

Rather than review last night’s game, I decided ahead of time to try an experiment. It wasn’t an original experiment, because I stole the idea from Bill Simmons, but it was still an experiment. The idea was simple: I kept a running log of everything bouncing around my head or coming out of my mouth during the game. I recorded emotions, thoughts, reactions, opinions, and conclusions as they developed. I may be the only person who finds this interesting, and at 2302 words, I don’t truly expect everyone to read it through to the end, but it’s preserved here for anyone interested in knowing what I thought about the Sugar Bowl or what it’s like for me to watch a game. What follows really needs no other explanation, so here it is. (Editor’s note: No remote controls were harmed in the watching of this game.)

——-

8:01 pm – Enough about the Tigers!
8:02 pm – Auburn thinks they’re going to walk over Tech. We’ll see. “Don’t sleep on Virginia Tech” is right.
8:05 pm – And now the nonsensical advertising starts.
8:08 pm – Terry Bowden looks like one of the lollipop kids from The Wizard of Oz.
8:11 pm – Hey, look, it’s the Auburn kick line. Where are the Jazz Hands?
8:15 pm – Frank Beamer for President!
8:16 pm – Bryan Randall, ACC Player of the Year. That sounds sweet, doesn’t it? Not bad for the projected 6th 1st place Hokies.
8:19 pm – That ball wasn’t catchable, but if it’s any closer, that’s pass interference. Not a good sign that that wasn’t called.
8:21 pm – Where the fuck is the flag on the block in the back?! The incessant phone calls to my brother begin.
8:25 pm – This is not a good start. Maybe a tackle would be good…
8:26 pm – Get a little more excited. You won the SEC Player of the Year. It’s a major award!
8:28 pm – Oh, it sucks to settle for a field goal, doesn’t it? It seems to me that part of mentioning that Auburn has the 1st ranked scoring defense is to also mention that Virginia Tech has the 3rd ranked scoring defense. It’s so obvious, it’s scary.
8:32 pm – Oh, it seems like good plays won’t be exclusive to one team. Eh, heh.
8:34 pm – We’re aiming for the other end zone, guys. Turn around and run that way.
8:39 pm – It’s 3rd and 16, contain the quarterback. Over-pursuing him only lets him find his receiver. Damn.
8:42 pm – I’m pretty sure that guy’s head isn’t in the helmet that flew off.
8:43 pm – 4th and Goal from the 2 and you need to think about it? Oh, and doesn’t it suck to get stopped in the red zone? Again. (I’m officially frustrated. One more bad offensive play, and I’ll be jumping off the deck onto the back porch.
8:46 pm – Oh, you thought you were going to get us to jump offsides. Instead, you wasted your second timeout. Hahaha. Coaching wins these games. Just ask Frank Beamer if he wishes he’d kicked the field goal on the opening drive of the 2000 Sugar Bowl.
8:56 pm – One quarter down. The defensive is playing brilliantly in tight situations. I’m ignoring the aspect of this game that involves the offense putting the defense in this bad situation. Just completely ignoring it.
8:57 pm – Much better start to the 2nd quarter. Keep throwing the ball with some authority.
8:59 pm – You tell ’em, Frank. Forward progress counts in this game. Maybe it only counts for Auburn… They are really good, which I know because you’ve been telling us how awesome Auburn is. For the entire game. On every play. But it’s not getting old. Boy, I could listen to that all game.
9:05 pm – 47 hours, 56 minutes until Alias!
9:06 pm – That was an awesome sack, Burchette! Nice job!
9:06 pm – Don’t lateral the friggin’ ball when half the field is wide open. Instead of a big gain, it’s a penalty. Play what’s in front of you. But we’re having such an easy time gaining yards…
9:09 pm – The first tinge of pain from screaming just snuck into my throat. Not a good sign.
9:13 pm – That’s a nice fucking throw, Randall. Way to thread the needle. Fuck, yeah!
9:14 pm – Play action to the tight end. King is always open. Just do it. I’m telling you.
9:15 pm – Not Mazzetta. Throw it to King. (And that was pass interference on that defensive back. His hands were all over Mazzetta.)
9:16 pm – Damn. That hole closed quickly.
9:18 pm – No, don’t go for it on 4th down, Frank. Did you read what I said about coaching winning these games? We should’ve kicked the field goal to open the game in 2000 and we should kick the field goal now. Auburn is out of timeouts now. That’s bad. Think. I’m going to throw up.
9:19 pm – Stupid, stupid call. Allen has caught, what, one pass all season, so you throw it to him? How about a reasonable play if you’re not going to call the smart play?
9:21 pm – And now the defense has to protect the rest of the team’s stupidity.
9:23 pm – What is this coverage? Just let Auburn walk into the end zone.
9:26 pm – This is why you kick the field goal. Not converting the 4th down shifts the momentum back to Auburn. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
9:28 pm – Hey, what do you know. Auburn’s third 4th and Goal. And what are they doing? Kicking the field goal. Why? Because that’s the right call. Damnit! And now it’s a 2 score game. If we kick the field goal, we’re still within a touchdown. Instead, we’re now down two scores. Why are we so stupid?
9:34 pm – Nice run, Eddie! Way to juke that defender. Excellent. Now score!
9:35 pm – Run, Bryan, run! Call a timeout! We have three and we can’t take them into the locker room.
9:36 pm – Instead of a timeout, you give me a false start. Rock.
9:37 pm – Now we take a timeout. A dropped pass and a penalty. At least we wasted 10 seconds off the clock. We don’t need those.
9:39 pm – 47 hours, 22 minutes until Alias!
9:40 pm – Oh, Auburn has the. Hardest. Defense. To. Score. On. In. College. Football? Really? Who knew? I’m glad you finally told us.
9:44 pm – Halftime. It’s 9-0 Auburn. This is the worst coached game in years for Frank Beamer. Tech highlights so far: we got to see Bruce Smith on the sideline. The highlight of the game so far: announcer Aaron Taylor being so excited that he appears two seconds away from crushing a beer can on his forehead.
10:04 pm – I want football, not a special video from Tom Petty. Give me football. (Remember, some of us have to work tomorrow.)
10:12 pm – Darryl Tapp, you rule! The lunch pale rocks.
10:12 pm – What is that scatter play? I’m amused, but that’s just ridiculous to waste time allowing VT to close in on the ball. Keep making stupid mistakes, though.
10:14 pm – We need a turnover. Now.
10:15 pm – Bam! Keep smacking him like that all night long.
10:16 pm – Again with the over-pursuing the quarterback. That leads to a 53-yard gain for Auburn. Stop it. These big plays are KILLING us.
10:18 pm – HOLDING! Where’s the flag? Come on.
10:19 pm – We’ve been playing with fire all night with the bad defense. We got burned and I fear we may not recover from this. If we don’t score on our drive, this game is over. Oh, and a roughing the kicker penalty. Good move. At least if we’re going to implode, we’ll do it completely.
10:25 pm – False start. That’s okay, because there’s no life left in the team. At this rate, the rest of the night should be fairly quick.
10:27 pm – Auburn sacks Randall. The collapse is almost complete. It’s not the coaching now; they’re just outplaying us. This defensive stand will determine if this game continues with any sense of drama.
10:31 pm – Defensive sack. That’s a good start. A turnover/defensive score would go a long way to making this interesting again.
10:33 pm – Three and out and Auburn must punt. I’m optimistic.
10:34 pm – Damn. It was the right call to set up the return there, but if we’d tied to block that kick, it was the perfect snap (so high that it delays the punter an extra moment). Oh, well. Now it’s Randall’s time to step up. Finally.
10:37 pm – Down 16 points with 5 minutes left in the 3rd quarter may not be the best time to try to establish the run. I’m just saying.
10:38 pm – Three and out and Tech must punt. This is ugly. I saw better offense on my high school team and we won about four games during my high school years.
10:43 pm – INTERCEPTION!!!!! Come on, come on, come on. Time to take advantage of this. We must have a touchdown.
10:45 pm – Running the ball for 8 yards is nice, but we have to score soon. Realistically, we need two touchdowns and a field goal to win this game. With only 16 minutes to play, time is becoming a factor.
10:46 pm – 4th and 1. We MUST get this first down. Must.
10:48 pm – Just enough for the first down. I don’t know why we’re letting the clock run out but that plays ends the 3rd quarter. Fifteen minutes to play. I have faith but I have to dig deep. I’ve seen weirder comebacks, though. I can’t think of any right now, but I’ve seen them.
10:53 pm – Wow, when did Auburn get the number 1 scoring defense in the nation? Why hasn’t ABC told us about it?
10:53 pm – Wide open receiver. Randall missed him. Nice.
10:54 pm – Field goal attempt. This is almost useless. We should be going for the touchdown on 4th and goal.
10:55 pm – He missed the field goal. Completely useless.
10:56 pm – Not only have I passed the point of being surprised, I’m past the point of caring. This is the worst coached Virginia Tech game I’ve ever seen. We’ve beaten ourselves in every facet of the game. Stupid play calling, bad defensive set up, taking risks when we shouldn’t, being cautious when we should be aggressive, and lacking any motivation or sense of importance.
10:59 pm – Is Alias on yet?
11:04 pm – Tech is playing as though we’re already defeated. This game is over.
11:04 pm – Auburn fumble, Tech recovers. If we could’ve picked it up, we would’ve run it back for a touchdown. Because it’s this game, we could only fall on it. At least no one spiked himself with his cleats.
11:09 pm – I’ve resorted to dangling string in front of the cats for entertainment. The game might as well be over, so I’ve lost interest. But I’m stupid dedicated, so I’ll watch until the clock hits 0:00.
11:10 pm – Pass interference. 15 yards, a first down, and the clock stops. That helps, but we’re only fighting for self-respect now.
11:13 pm – Touchdown Hokies! Going for 2-point conversion.
11:14 pm – The throw is too low, bouncing off the turf. Auburn leads 16-6. That’s why we should’ve kicked the field goal on 4th and Goal in the first half. With the field goal, it’s 16-10. Down six points with almost seven minutes to go is a nail-biter. Down ten points with almost seven minutes to go requires a few answered prayers. I’m pulling it from places I didn’t know I had, but I still believe.
11:19 pm – 45 hours, 42 minutes until Alias!
11:21 pm – We’re close to needing to use our timeouts if we intend to keep this close. We can’t give them 45 seconds for every play. (We could if it was 16-10. Have I mentioned how we needed to kick the field goal in the first half?)
11:23 pm – Fourth down for Auburn. Tech must take a timeout. Timeout Hokies. We need this ball back immediately. And then we need a quick score. A punt return for a touchdown, maybe?
11:25 pm – Block that kick! Block that kick!
11:26 pm – Downed at the 2 yard line. Classic.
11:28 pm – It’s nice to see a little life in the team, but we’re wasting too much time.
11:29 pm – Randall forced the throw instead of throwing it away. Auburn intercepts. That’s the end.
11:36 pm – 2:21 left in the game. Auburn has to punt. Tech will get the ball back, but I don’t see how we use the last 2 minutes to overcome the first 58 minutes.
11:38 pm – Absolute stunned fucking silence! 80-yard touchdown to Josh Morgan. Auburn leads 16-13. 2:01 left on the clock. I doubted Tech and we’re in this again.
11:40 pm – Auburn recovers the onside kick. We’re done, barring a miracle.
11:43 pm – Auburn sits on the ball. The game is over. The referees allow some shenanigans with the clock in the last two minutes. It doesn’t matter because we deserve to lose. Auburn is a great team. They outplayed us and out coached us. But Tech fought all the way. If we had found that spark earlier in the game, we win. If we make better decisions early in the game, we win. (Did I mention that we should’ve kicked the field goal in the first half? 16-16 makes it a different game, no? I’m just saying.) But we didn’t.
11:50 pm – Virginia Tech finished 10-3. We won the ACC in our first season. We played in a BCS bowl, barely losing even though we played our worst offense of the season. Two of our three losses came against #1 USC and #3 Auburn. That’s a good season. I can’t wait for August.
11:54 pm – 45 hours, 7 minutes until Alias!
5:41 am – I awake after a few hours of sleep, having dreamt of championships lost, slipping just out of reach for all time. I realize it was just a dream. Dreams fade and dreams return. I drift back into slumber. The sun will rise in less than two hours.

Set up ten pins tonight, we’re going bowling

Tonight is the night. The Hokies play Auburn tonight in the Sugar Bowl. I’m more excited for this game than I have been for any football game in the last five years. I won’t regale bore anyone with the details of tonight’s game because it’s not necessary. And I’d probably suffer an aneurysm if I get any more excited about this game. Go Hokies!

So instead I offer a glimpse back to five years ago. No game will ever hold the same level of unbridled enthusiasm that I felt for the 2000 Sugar Bowl. Virginia Tech rose from the obscurity of my undergraduate years of the early ’90’s to national prominence in the BCS National Championship game against the spawn of Satan Florida State. We had Michael Vick. We had Frank Beamer, the master of Special Teams play. (We still have him, but stick with my creative license.) We had Bud Foster, the defensive genius. (Ditto, which is not a person but a reference to my last side note.) The Seminoles had 783-year-old Chris Wienke, a stupid tomahawk chop, and Peter Warrick getting the team a 90% discount on flights to New Orleans. The victory and our first national championship in the new Hokie Dynasty were a lock.

Like every epic mythical adventure, destiny conspired to land me smack in the middle of it all. I flew to New Orleans on the morning of the game with a return ticket for the next morning. I planned to spend fifteen of my twenty hours in New Orleans on Bourbon Street either counting down the end of my B.N.C. Hokie Time (Before National Championship) or celebrating the first exciting moments of P.N.C. Hokie Time (Post National Championship) because I refused to let my inability to find a hotel room deter me from seeing the biggest game in Virginia Tech history. I believed.

I was forsaken. Instead of that dream, I walked around Bourbon Street in the freezing cold, journeyed on a quest for one vegetarian dish, watched us fall far behind Florida State, screamed myself hoarse as we fought back to take the lead at the end of the third quarter, deflated as the comeback fell short, wandered Bourbon Street in a haze of depression, discovered that many Florida State fans are sore winners assholes, dozed in McDonald’s, caught a cab to the airport at 2am, slept on the cold floor of New Orleans International Airport, contracted bronchitis, and spent the next five days suffering the pain of violent coughing. All of it added up to the single greatest sporting event of my life. To quote Garth Brooks, “I could have missed the pain, But I’d have had to miss the dance”.

Leading up to the 2000 Sugar Bowl, Virginia Tech had to beat Boston College to finish the regular season 11-0. That game started out with a freezing, driving rain storm and ended with the Hokies standing victorious and hordes of fans throwing sugar cubes indiscriminately in the air as the crowd (55,000 strong) danced and cheered in unison as the scoreboard reported Oklahoma’s squeaker win that guaranteed Virginia Tech a spot in the National Championship. This picture from the fourth quarter of that game shows that there can be a storm before the calm.

I'm in this picture, however small I may be.

My passion for Virginia Tech isn’t forged in football trophies or other fleeting awards. Like most college students, I experienced Virginia Tech in my early adulthood, when I hadn’t fully formed my understanding of who I was and where I fit in the world. I arrived in Blacksburg unaware of what lay before me, other than an external view that I was slightly inferior because I had to attend Virginia Tech and not the University of Virginia. I bought into the feeling that I needed to defend Virginia Tech against its external image. Over the years, through maturation and the values embodied by Virginia Tech, I learned to set that aside. Virginia Tech instilled in me a respect for the community of Hokies that exists worldwide. (I’ve encountered fellow Hokies as far away as Krakow, Poland.) We may be a little crazy, but Hokies love being Hokies. The outside world doesn’t understand us because we’re a strong community and indiscriminately rabid supporters of Virginia Tech. Few universities foster the same attitude. I believed then, I believe now, and regardless of tonight’s outcome, I will still believe tomorrow. I never want to be anything other than a Hokie.

Now that I’ve gone all weepy and precious, join with me in wishing for nothing but a good, old-fashioned ass-whooping of the Tigers… Go Hokies!

The Gods were happy, so no lightning

With such a spectacular comeback win by the Hokies last night, I must comment on the smarter kids at Georgia Tech. Consider this quote from a student when referring to the atmosphere of Big Time College Sports&#153 on the Georgia Tech campus:

“It validates that we’re not just nerds,” Kwon said. “Not only are our degrees much better than yours, but we can whip you on the field, too.”

That validates it in the same way the smahrt kids probably feel about the Hahrvahrd Lacrosse team. But there is something that makes me not quite ready to put my two Virginia Tech diplomas on the spinning roll attached to the bathroom wall. Consider:

“Here it is in all its glory — game day at Georgia Tech,” said fifth-year student Johnny Kwon, looking out over the lawn in front of the architecture building. “We sit here, drink beer and watch all the nerds walk by that aren’t going to the game.”

Even with my lesser diploma, I know that people, even nerds, are referred to as “who”, while inanimate objects are referred to as “that”. The right statement is “We sit here, drink beer and watch all the nerds walk by who aren’t going to the game. They’re carrying their X-ray glasses that run on batteries and atomic energy.”

Oh, and our quarterback doesn’t accidentally step out of the back of the end zone for a safety.

It’s just like breathing

I don’t know how I missed this, but after UVA beat UNC a few weeks ago, UVA Fourth Year senior tailback Marquis Weeks commented on his 100-yard kick-off return for a touchdown. Before I reveal his quote, consider this description of his run:

Receiving the kickoff a yard deep in the end zone, Weeks started up the right side, ran out of a tackle attempt by Hilee Taylor near the 25-yard line and burst to midfield, where he cut left across the field to pick up blockers who cleared the rest of the way.

I didn’t see it, but it sounds like it was a sweet run. Good for him. Blah, blah, blah. As I said, the real key is this post-game quote from Marquis Weeks:

“That was just instinct,” Weeks said with a laugh. “Kind of like running from the cops, I guess you could say.”

Ummm, I don’t believe I have that instinct. And I remember getting mocked over the summer because of the most recent legal run-ins for members of the Virginia Tech football team. I can accept the mockery because there’s no defense for the behavior of some of my guys. But I can’t allow that quote to just disappear into the ether. Considering that one of my roommates went to UVA, do not fret. That quote isn’t going anywhere, except maybe taped to my refrigerator.